So just what the hell is new with us lately?

1. Henry is almost one. I cannot comprehend how the little person who I just had inside me is now scooting across the floor, upending my laundry baskets, and yelling at the top of his lungs.

I continue to be amazed at his progress. No, he can’t walk yet. He probably won’t for a while — we need to get his feet straightened out which can’t happen for a variety of reasons until he’s eighteen-ish months. But damned if he doesn’t get where he needs to go — scooting, rolling, and almost crawling. He sits up unassisted, he can get up on his hands and knees and rock back and forth, he scoots, and he can get from laying down to sitting without any help from anyone. No cognitive delays and barely any physical delays, which is downright astounding considering he was supposed to be paralyzed.

I know. I know. I feel like I am always harping on that. I feel like every other word out of my mouth is HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PARALYZED!!!! THE DOCTORS SAID HE’D NEVER MOVE AND NOW HE DOES OMG OMG!!! So I apologize for being a broken record. But when the doctor sits you down and tells you that your kid is paralyzed — your life changes. Your entire worldview changes. And so every time Henry gets up on his hands and knees, or scoots from one place to another, it feels like this huge victory because multiple people had told us he wouldn’t be able to do that exact same thing.

Every SINGLE time he meets a milestone, I judo-chop the air with glee. He did it. He’s doing it. He’s doing exactly what you said he wouldn’t do.

And that is pretty darn inspiring.

2. I’m going to the Edel Gathering!!! When I first heard about the Edel Gathering — a two-day getaway (I like to call it a “conference” so it sounds like I’m extremely busy and important) for Catholic ladies featuring a dream team of Catholic bloggers and authors — I immediately got a nerd boner. Cocktails with a bunch of fellow Catholic ladies? Two days away from my kids? Talks and toasts from my favorite bloggers?! KARAOKE AND A CRAZY SHOE CONTEST??!?!?!?!?!?!?! I almost started salivating with desire.

I will be VERY upset if I can’t find an exact replica of these for the crazy shoe contest.

Unfortunately, the prospect of going was so far off my radar that I literally wouldn’t allow myself to think about it, lest I get too sad. The gathering is in Austin, Texas (We live in Chicago), and, oh yeah, I’m poor as shit. But then.

THEN.

Lou filled out our tax return a few weeks ago and thanks to our meager salary and our two babies, we are getting a ton of money back. Most is going to our student loans. But a modest amount is for us to splurge with. We hardly ever splurge, and we’ve had a ridiculously stressful year, so we decided to go for it. Lou is buying some original art. And I staked out the Edel website all morning and bought tickets as soon as they went live. Our splurge money should just barely cover the cost of a conference ticket, one round trip flight, and a delicious gin and tonic that I will nurse the entire night. I am unbelievably excited to go. And if you read this and plan on going, hit me up on Facebook so I can force you to hang out with me at the conference.

Literally. So. Excited. Somebody hold me.

3. June. Having a two-year-old is my favorite thing in the world. Sure, it’s trying. I haven’t gotten proper sleep in months since my particular two-year-old won’t sleep unless she’s on my pillow with her nose pressed up against mine. Two year olds are relentless, and mine specifically has no understanding of why she can’t have cookies and goldfish crackers for every single meal of the day, and she physically takes my face in her hands and turns it toward her when she thinks I’ve been looking at Henry a few seconds too long. I mean, it’s darling, but it’s frigging exhausting too.

But aside from the constant attention she demands, my two year old is a delight. I swear I spend a third of the day wanting to rip out my hair and the rest getting snuggles, hugs, and laughing at the ridiculous things that come out of her mouth. Such as:

June: Mommy, what this book say?

Me: The title is, “The Naked and the Dead.”

June: NAKED?! NAKED?! WHAT?! NO!

[opens it stealthily, closes it immediately]

June: I saw a bum.

* * *

Me: Do you think you’ll be a doctor when you grow up, June?

June: Nah. I just be a pretty lady.

* * *

Me: June, can you hold my hand in the parking lot, please?

June: Nah. I good.

* * *

June: Mommy, Jake say ‘shut up’ and ‘stupid.’

Me: Oh, that’s inappropriate. We don’t say those words.

June: Mommy, Barney say ‘shut up’ and ‘stupid.’

Me: He did, huh? Well those are rude words. Tell Barney not to say those words.

June: Mommy, daddy say ‘shut up’ and ‘stupid’.

Me: Really? Well that wasn’t very nice. Thank you for telling me.

June: Mommy…Shut Up and Stupid said ‘shut up’ and ‘stupid.’

Me: I think you’re just trying to get away with saying ‘shut up’ and ‘stupid.’

June: …. shut up.

* * *

June [to a dog that got close to her face]: Excuse me. I need some space.

* * *

June [whispering, at a church tea party]: Mommy … let’s get out of here.

* * *

June [at the same church party]: Mommy …. God told you to get me a cookie.

Precious baby.

Her favorite thing right now is to change into her Monsters, Inc. pajamas and watch “Monsters, Inc” in the basement with her daddy after he gets off work. At least once a day she asks to do a “craft,” which consists of either cutting up pieces of paper (just sitting and cutting random shapes) or mixing snow and chocolate milk mix in a big bowl and eating it with a spoon. She loves puzzles. Blocks. She adores watching TV, which I let her do a fair amount of since she does it so darn interactively. She can quote whole snippets of dialogue from her favorite cartoons and knows pretty much every nursery rhyme, thanks to Barney. Basically, if she’s drawing, doing a “craft,” watching Adventure Time, or “helping” me clean, she’s a happy girl.

And as long as she’s asleep by 730, I’m a happy mama.

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3 thoughts on “So just what the hell is new with us lately?

  1. I LOVE your blog, and I’m so glad for this update! I say, keep up the updates! 😉 Also, you’re one of the most hilarious people I know. Seriously. 🙂 I literally laugh out loud when I read your blog, which my husband thinks is hilarious, and then our whole house has the giggles. It’s the best. 🙂

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